on memory: forget this

You'll forget what you're about to read here shortly. You won't give a hounds ass. I won't give a hounds ass either. You see, in writing my memoirs, I've been giving memory a thought. And it's pretty depressing. Because if sensory memory is only good for less than two seconds and short term memory 15 seconds, all one has left is long term memory. And that's not much. Few experiences, only the vivid ones end up there. Blowing my nose? Delete. Drinking that last beer? Delete. I've had no vivid experiences in the last 30 days, maybe longer, I can't remember. I get up every day and replicate. I wander around in my boxers until my eyes are open enough to pour milk on my granola, turn on music, check my email, take out the trash, then mount a fresh roll of toilet paper on the chrome holder I dispise. All titillating stuff. I only remember because I've done those things thousands of times. Repetition improves memories.

Just in the past year, as I can recall, I've taken out the trash about 45 times. I missed a few weeks. I remember the missed weeks because my lover moaned about it, "Just mentioning it," she said. The mentioning was vivid. You'd think I'd had a date with the landfill, had violated some moral code of decay, to blame for fucking up the life of a trash bag full of used Kleenexes, Q tips, and leftovers from the Thai place that we didn't remember to eat in time because it was in the refrigerator behind the wine that I can't remember who gave to us on what occasion.

Rationally, the trash is already dead, what's the hurry? But, if I can remember, I'll use this the next time. "My dear, just as I was about to crawl into bed, my brain discarded the idea of taking out the trash. It just wasn't that vivid. Being that it was vivid for you... oh never mind, I'm just mentioning it."

If only Dali was right...

Salvator Dali, The Persistance of Memory 1931


on writing: 5:16:57 AM EST

engulfed in flames at 5:15 in the am.. the wine is not too bad either..



on success: in rilke's camp.. sorta..

Just the other day I received a release to publish my conversation with Chris Arthur titled " Scribbles, Fragments, and Ideas," that appeared in the early spring edition of The Literary Review. I count it as an honor to have appeared in a lit mag that has published the likes of some real heavyweights such as William Carlos Williams, Langston Hughes, Philip Levine, Seamus Heaney, and Rilke. Yikes! Right? and the list goes on. But don't take my word for it, just page to the bottom of the file in the title link above.

Anyway, if you are the least bit interested in the skills of seeing and writing, this conversation is a must read. The time I spent in email banter with this guy was nothing short of formative for me and my hacking away here in the mountains with my laptop. Let me know what you think. I'll pass the word on to Chris.

Click here for the Arthur Conversation.. if that doesn't link up, go to my "sample reads" link below the itunes button.. either way you'll need Adobe Reader..



on my memoir: hot for it..

it's summer, people usually go places, but i haven't gone very far.. it seems the fine weather has lured me to the porch with my laptop.. i had to do it, to get a laptop that is.. i know that great writers hide in dark attics, but i couldn't pull it off.. the dark hole theory for prolific writing.. 

regardless, i've been making fresh-air progress on my "jesus boy" memoirs.. it would seem i'm at the half-way point.. it's a strange yet gathered feeling, looking over the snapshots of my past.. it's quite liberating to be admitting openly that i come from a sorted and dysfunctional place..